Sunday, September 14, 2008


would you speak to me?
if I spoke first.
would you look at me?
if I tried to gain your attention.
Would you love me?
if I loved you back.

sometimes, trying just isn't enough

Saturday, September 13, 2008


this is all just a bunch of shit that I can't take anymore.
I don't think I'm gonna go out with either of you.
plus i have a billion tests coming up
and we have that huge meeting tonight

I really can't hold on to it
but what was I holding on to?
the thought maybe...idk


Friday, September 12, 2008

What if...

What if I tried to explain everything to you?
well I can't, I've tried. My voice tends to fail and my hands tend to sweat. Sometimes I choke on the idea of understanding myself.

I love thinking about the future, hate the past, and am often confused about the present.

I've been venting to a few of my best friends lately, and truth is, idk how much it's helping.
It won't change the fact that I still think about you.
am scared to be with him
and horrified when the word love comes up

We're not dating, and I don't plan on doing it soon. Although he's adorable and I really like him,
there are other things too.
plus, I can't just dump all these thoughts of you.

For some reason I can't explain why I did what I did. I'm constantly questioning it, and I wish I could take it back.

I'm scared.

Who will be here to hold me through the cold nights, if you're not going to accept all my "sorry" ' s. What if I really do love you...?