so looking at schools is maybe not good right now, looking to the future just blurs the mind from the present.
on the brightside, i'm interested in an art school in virginia? maybe possibly...
:)
*waves*
my name is cassandra.
i'm gonna start writing my life in here.
[besides the poems and drivel]




it says "this is where the shivers go" and it has an arrow all the way down to my toes.
"i shiver when i hear your name..."

ps-i adore it when you smile,
and when you hug me,
i could get lost in those deep eyes.
you are leaving a mark on me.
a good one [:

you've held me down in this starless city

i've broken threw this old bird's cage,
and now my song bird can sing.
i'll fly free,
ignoring gravity,
and soon the night sky will grow stars.
i get mad
and aggravated
and jealous of her
and hurt from you.

but it's really just me missing you.
recently i've had to take a lot of hits.

after everyone i'd stand up again and fake it through the day.

well guess what!
i can't anymore.


you've all broken me,
excluded me,
refused to love me.

and you've done it together.



some last goodbyes and saying sorry, not necessarily to the people mentioned above:
alice -
i'm sorry. i've gotten mad at you for the first time ever and it sucks. i don't know if it's because i'm jealous of you or what, but some things have gotten to my ears and i didn't like them. you're not the same you anymore, and if you haven't noticed we don't really hang out anymore.

ali -
i don't hate you. if you die i'll blame myself.

felipe -
i'm sorry if i ever put you through anything. your friendship was one i valued more than most.

john -
i'm sorry for everything i did. don't let go of ali.

sam -
you did nothing wrong. don't ever blame yourself. we all love you.

meggye -
i don't think we'll ever meet due to recent happenings, but you're a great friend. i'll miss you bunches. i love you, princess meggye.

dan -
i can't do this. goodbye.



goodbye to everyone and to 11:11. i don't think i'm ever going to make a wish again.
just one last thing..

my most prized possessions are:
• dark blue
• bearsy boo
• the necklace alice gave me
• my sweatpants :/




so the wind will pick me up and carry me, to a place i can call home. the birds will sing my welcome song, and i won't feel alone. the memories will leave scars, and my heart will try to forget a few. but they'll live on, and with them will you.



don't talk to me in the halls at school or anything. goodbye, goodbye, bye.
please do not blame yourself.



i'm stronger than this. promise.
I really just need to fake realize it
every night i fall asleep,
with one thing on my mind.
every time i see the stars,
there's one wish in my heart.
every time i close my eyes,
i see yours in front of me.
in front of me.

I wake up,
to find my dreams broken.
I fell asleep, with your arms around me.
You'd protect me, you'd fight for me
you'd hold my hand.


I know you're never gonna be there
when I need you most.
I know you gotta leave, it's time for you to go.
I know she has your heart,
but you have mine
what does that count for anyway?
This feeling,
lasts longer than a lifetime.


My heart it plays the same old song,
I cry the same old tears,
can't fall asleep.
I lay there thinking of
you and when my eyes finally shut
I wanna shut my mind off too.
It's way too much.

I hide it all so you won't see,
how you make me feel
I can't believe it.
So I hide it.
And the hopes they all rush back to me,
as I smile I let it them flee to you.
Can I be your everything?


I know you're never gonna be there
when I need you most.
I know you gotta leave, it's time for you to go.
I know she has your heart,
but you have mine
what does that count for anyway?
This feeling,
lasts longer than a lifetime.


so I finally turn it off.
lay there, breathlessly.
Wandering predictions are what
killed me.
Serenading dreams,
you sent them back to me.
I can't control where you go.

it's time for you to go.